The Princess and the Frog

So happy birthday to me. I woke up around 3:00 this morning to a thunderstorm. “They” say that rain at wedding is good luck…well, it rained on my wedding day…I think they meant: rain on your birthday means that the year in store will be a good one. In fact, let’s make it so. I will. Isn’t that what Princess’ do?

And then the frog. So on my way to yoga, I noticed a frog blocking my path out. Not in the sense that it was just so large that I couldn’t pass, but I don’t like to “hurt nature” as Blythe puts it, so I had to help it along the way, so that I didn’t squish it. So, I talked to it and did a little dance to get it on its way. Really cute, but you had to be there. So I consulted my handy dandy reference book, “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews. Regarding frogs: transition through water and sound. Its voice is said to bring on the rain; rain makes things grow. It is a symbol of coming into one’s own creative power. So after my dance, the frog moved enough to be out of dangers’ way and then yoga was imminent. Before my 9:30 class, I decide to do a bit of cycling…get the cardio in as I’m no longer 20. At the gym, I had a conversation with a beautiful 75-year-old woman from Madrid who hurt her ankle by showing off to her neighbor’s kids playing soccer.  And please note that even with the wrapped ankle, she was still in the gym and cycling. I felt like she was sent with a message just for me as I’ve seen her numerous times, but we’ve never really spoken and her ankle has been intact when I’ve seen her before. She opened up with an eagerness to share that caught me off guard as I sat cycling next to her with one earplug, unplugged and music blaring in the other. But I heard her message: don’t ever stop, and keep going no matter what the burden. She shared her story about how her American husband moved her here despite her family’s objections and her love of soccer.

Know and keep being me, and it will serve me well as it has her; a soccer playing, fun loving, beautiful and spirited woman. Who am I at …my age?

Happy birthday, me. 

Are men becoming women?

Since my divorce and subsequent thrust into the world of single, I have been struck by how men expect so much from women…to cater to them especially if they are “successful”. But even if they aren’t, they still hold an expectation that you (woman) will take care of them. Of course, I was married for just over a decade (child bride;) and we dated for a while too, so I’ve been out of the game for a long time and things have changed. A lot!

Women had a coveted role in being pursued rather than being the aggressor, but that’s changing and I don’t like it. I’ve had a very strong reaction to this and every man I meet, I feel a need to let him know about this little epiphany I've noticed after my 15 year hiatus. And they always agree. Women agree too, but they don't have the same reaction that I do. They seem to accept it and men sheepishly agree. WHAT?!!!  I want to help us all by putting us back on track. I think that it does women a huge disservice to be in the hunter role. Yes, I get it, lioness' are the provider for food for the entire pride...and I'm a Leo, but come on...really?

Do men really want to be pursued? And if so, why? It goes against nature, men should be men and women should be ladies. But I'm getting on my soap box. I plan to delve into this a bit further later...I'm not done!

Sometimes...it's just about the peanut butter

So…I ran out of peanut butter and didn’t want to make the trip to Whole Foods for my regular organic peanut butter, so I headed to the local Dominick’s. I noticed a strapping young man walking into the store as I parked and I noticed him take note of me. While he was attractive, I really had peanut butter on my mind.


So, I wandered from aisle to aisle staring up looking for anything that resembled peanut butter: condiments, breakfast, snacks…and wham. I almost pass my aisle and my little (well, not so little) friend is leaving the aisle and we almost collide. I spotted jellies and jams as I bobbed and weaved around him, determined that peanut butter was near. I never even looked at him as I grabbed his arm to move him out of my way, all the while apologizing for my behavior. When I did look at him, he seemed a little shocked. And I found organic crunchy peanut butter.

I thought it was funny that he returned to the aisle, perhaps to make sure that I was really that focused on peanut butter and not him…sorry friend, sometimes it really is just about the peanut butter.

What I've learned from men

If you know me, you know that I'm very easy to talk to...because we've had a conversation or two, and I talked your ear off. But I do listen. I'm conducting a bit or market research and gathering as much information as I can from everyone I can and this is what I've learned from men:

What I discovered from Randy…he helped me with the survey because he was so stuck on children. I have a beautiful daughter, so I don’t tend to think about that. That’s why it’s so important to do market research!!! To understand what’s important to everyone else, and can I take myself out of the process…should I?

Pete "got me" he understood that I'm NOT a flirt (almost all of my female friends believe that I am and they are wrong...) Pete, when surveyed said that he didn't think that I was a flirt, but that I am "very aware of my environment" and when we met each other's gaze, I didn't look away and that I looked friendly. I was open to him flirting with me. Just for the record, that's how I think it should be...being a lady puts us squarely in a coveted position and I think we should stay there...more on that later. But what I learned from Pete is that I'm right ;).

In my discussions with "Rico Santiago", he explained to me that men marry to have children. Yikes…really? Don’t we offer more than a vessel to bare your offspring? I admit, I am a bit of a romantic, so I believe in meeting someone, getting to know them, spending a lot of time together and then falling in love at some point. Not everyone, just that special one and everyone has their “position” for lack of a better word, in your life. Maybe they introduce you to a potential employer or a new best friend. Maybe they take you to the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten at, or maybe they become an acquaintance. Regardless, we have the opportunity to meet people all the time, yet many of us let these opportunities go. Why? Fear, shyness, anger, frustration….who knows. One thing I do know is that I think it would be weird to assess every woman you met as a potential carrier of your sperm. It just seems so clinical. I don’t know, maybe he’s right…he is a man and I’m not. I’m just a woman with an opinion and a blogsite.

Regards,
Andrea

Regarding my birthday...

July kicks off a month long celebration of my birthday, which is actually 7/24. I am planning to celebrate myself in some significant way each day. Yesterday, I bought my most favorite ingredients and made great dishes that I plan to enjoy for at least another day.

Should we wait until our birthday (or birthday month in my case) to celebrate ourselves??? I think not!

Something to think about

Since beginning on this journey, one thing that keeps happening is that I am meeting a lot of men. I had to stop and ask myself, why am I meeting so many men? The answer, one of them, is that like when I was married, there is no pressure when men approach me. And I have even approached one, not for me…but for my new business venture (it's coming, stay tuned!!!). There’s no rejection that I have to worry about because he’s not rejecting me, he’s rejecting the program.

Rejection is huge. And I can’t even begin to think about putting myself in a situation where I may be rejected on a continual basis. That is a lot of pressure; yet, I do believe that where men used to be in that situation solely, slowly, it's changing. Women put themselves in that position all the time, and I can only believe that it’s a daunting place to be and I’m not sure why they do it. When I have approached men (read: one man…”Rico Santiago”) it was truly innocent. There was no pressure. I wasn’t approaching him about dating me, or assessing his interest in me. We spoke about my new business venture and how/if he would be a good fit and why, and no, Rico is not a good fit (according to him...though I think he's in denial). We spoke about the ins and outs of the life and when we solved all the world’s problems some eight hours later, I found that we had a good rapport. We had a good dialogue, an easy chemistry (obviously because the bartender who knows me…and maybe him too…not my normal spot but I know the tender from another restaurant) bought us both a drink and later found us and said that he couldn’t put two better people together. That was odd for both of us as that scenario had never happened to me before and maybe Todd (the bartender) knew something we didn’t. We did have a great time together. (as evident in our attending to two additional parties later and then breakfast, listening to birds chirp through the open sunroof driving the restaurant. Gotta love Chicago summers.)

Anyhow, I digress, that story is for another time. That interaction sparked a thought…if you take the pressure off of your initial interactions with others; can that make for a better experience? And by better, I mean easier, less pressure. Something to think about.