I thoroughly enjoy my own company. Whether it’s going to the movies, dining, shopping, attending parties/openings, exercising…all of it, I can do alone and with ease. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to turn down an invitation if I can and want to make it, but for the majority of the time, I’m okay going alone.
When I’m out solo, I’m always surprised by the questions posed by curious strangers:
“You came out alone?”
“Is it just you dining with us tonight?”
“May I buy you a drink?”
“I could never go to (fill in the blank) alone…”
“May I join you/will you join me?”
My answers to these questions are usually the same:
“Yes. And I know karate.”
“No, not just me, but I will be dining alone.”
“Yes. Dirty Ciroc, up with a lemon twist. Thank you.”
“I’m so sorry for you…”
“Hmmm…depends.” (On my mood)
Many have inquired, “Why do you go solo? Don’t you have any friends?” and while I find this question rude, I will typically respond: “I do have plenty of friends, and I enjoy a good night on the town solo every now again. Thanks for asking…” Sometimes this turns into a debate about going out single in the city, and I get it. I can be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing…fodder for another post.
The goal when out and about is usually to get a bit of “me time” and hopefully get inspired to write something profound—like I’m doing now, or maybe I’m working on one of my novels and I’m blocked. Somehow, being out amongst the general public rejuvenates me and gets the creative juices flowing.
The thing is that I’m not alone. There are other people out and about watching the same movie, dining, shopping, exercising, and imbibing coffee and other vices at the party/gallery/museum/coffee shop. I’ve met some interesting and not so interesting people during my solo adventures. AND I’ve found that others are less intimidated to strike up a conversation when I’m alone, but almost always, there’s a great story to tell at the end of the outing.
Take for instance my dining experience at Zed 451 (WHERE). I’d only heard about it and the hype drew me in. It’s billed as a “dining experience” and the website doesn’t offer much else, increasing the intrigue. A kind host, noting that I was alone, sat me at the chef’s table. WHAT I wore: pastel chiffon dress—flowy and girly paired with hot gold gladiator sandals—yet another much-hyped item that enticed me. WHO I saw: lots of people. Some ate at the chef’s table, while others I met in the “common section” which is much like a buffet of sides. The “meat waiters” were great, as they presented me with their carnivorous forté: lamb, venison, chicken, pork, several varieties of seafood, steak, and they battled for my approval. HOW late was I? Not one second. Another plus for going out solo…you’re never late! WHY I would go back: the scenery is great, the food is wonderful, the people watching at the bar or on the rooftop is grand, and did I mention the food?
It’s always nice to treat yourself to an indulgence now and again, and experiencing it all as a party of one can really be an added bonus. Try it…you might like it, and perhaps we’ll meet. You can buy me a drink, or better. There’s nothing sexier than a man who offers to buy me dinner just because and on a whim. Not only is it a random act of kindness and completely unnecessary, but it makes a great story, it’s just so manly—which brings me to my next topic: When did men become women? But that’s for next time.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Two words, two worlds: Internet Dating
I’ve been out of the game, so to speak, for a decade, so dating again is going to be a challenge. What will I do to meet people? Where will I go? And am I really back out there? To be honest, half the draw to divorcing was the thrill of dating again and all the “toys” out there to assist in the dating game: internet and speed dating.
I thought a bit of market research was in order to find out what I was really in for, so I went to a hot dinner spot (The Blue Water Grill) with friends—s ingle friends—and talked about my new dilemma.
“Welcome back!” One said with just a hint of sarcasm.
“Are you sure you want to be out here?” Two asked.
“Don’t listen to them. You’re going to have a blast!” Three exclaimed.
Each of their responses fit their personalities: One was shy and not very outgoing, Two while outgoing, had had a string of bad dates just behind her, and Three is determinedly single. Still, I had my doubts. I’m not quite sure where I fit on the scale, and until then, will I really be ready to jump back in? Isn’t there a way to ease back into dating?
While out with the girls, I kept my idea of internet dating to myself, not wanting their opinions on that just yet. I wanted to try it, quietly, on my own. So that evening, I signed up for the one that seemed to make the most sense for me: the one that matches you based on computer generated compatibility. How could I (or it) miss? We wouldn’t have to have those awkward interview moments: What do you like to do? Are you divorced? What religion do you practice or are you more spiritual? What are you passionate about? All of that would be common knowledge by the time we would actually meet. It was like entering a whole new world. Dating for dummies…or at least, dating made easy.
I guess it was all too perfect. The quiz, while long, was interesting and easy enough. I was immediately matched with about 20 guys from the Chicago land area. None actually looked like my type, but I read their profiles anyway. I was intrigued by some, and not so much by others. I decided to expand my search, and look nationally; perhaps I was limiting myself; that’s when I “met” Alec Brownless from the last article and we know how that turned out. After Alec, who really did appear to be a good match, I met Charlie*. He lives in Chicago, divorced with kids. A bit older than me, he was funny, appreciated Seinfeld’s wit and I decided that humor was a definite plus. I said yes to his date proposal.
He asked me to choose the restaurant (good), which I did: MK, a mid-range establishment that has great décor and good food. I spotted him quickly thanks to the online pictures and my being late… and he was the only single sat. He stood appropriately (nice), but didn’t fight the hostess to pull my chair (not so nice). While he’d had ample time to review the menu, he did it again perhaps for my benefit…so that I’d know. He made several “tsking” sounds when his eye traveled right of the menu and then he finally ordered a hamburger (!). I knew that I’d be paying for my dinner that night…in more ways than one: half the check as well as suffering through Charlie’s idiosyncrasies.
WHAT I wore: blue kimono inspired wrap dress, plunging backline. WHERE I wore it: MK, WHO I saw: Cheap Charlie, HOW late I arrived: 15 minutes (I’m getting better), WHY I would or wouldn’t go back: to Charlie…obviously not, to MK, of course! And then there’s the internet.
Bottom line, while the internet offers the convenience of pre-dating from home, it lacks the ability to provide that “first meeting spark” that comes with catching someone’s eye and just feeling “it”. With the internet, you don’t feel anything via the email or telephone, yet you still give the date a try and even then you may not feel anything but it’s too late. You’re already knee deep in the middle of a date that you can’t get out of. The internet can’t tell you that a person is cheap and thus rule him out pre-date (something you can usually observe at a bar/club setting based on their insistence on tap or the house vodka (!)). The first meeting will tell you all you need to know, and that’s going to happen whether or not the internet has matched you. I’d put money on my intuition over a computer-generated match any day.
Regards,
Andrea
I thought a bit of market research was in order to find out what I was really in for, so I went to a hot dinner spot (The Blue Water Grill) with friends—s ingle friends—and talked about my new dilemma.
“Welcome back!” One said with just a hint of sarcasm.
“Are you sure you want to be out here?” Two asked.
“Don’t listen to them. You’re going to have a blast!” Three exclaimed.
Each of their responses fit their personalities: One was shy and not very outgoing, Two while outgoing, had had a string of bad dates just behind her, and Three is determinedly single. Still, I had my doubts. I’m not quite sure where I fit on the scale, and until then, will I really be ready to jump back in? Isn’t there a way to ease back into dating?
While out with the girls, I kept my idea of internet dating to myself, not wanting their opinions on that just yet. I wanted to try it, quietly, on my own. So that evening, I signed up for the one that seemed to make the most sense for me: the one that matches you based on computer generated compatibility. How could I (or it) miss? We wouldn’t have to have those awkward interview moments: What do you like to do? Are you divorced? What religion do you practice or are you more spiritual? What are you passionate about? All of that would be common knowledge by the time we would actually meet. It was like entering a whole new world. Dating for dummies…or at least, dating made easy.
I guess it was all too perfect. The quiz, while long, was interesting and easy enough. I was immediately matched with about 20 guys from the Chicago land area. None actually looked like my type, but I read their profiles anyway. I was intrigued by some, and not so much by others. I decided to expand my search, and look nationally; perhaps I was limiting myself; that’s when I “met” Alec Brownless from the last article and we know how that turned out. After Alec, who really did appear to be a good match, I met Charlie*. He lives in Chicago, divorced with kids. A bit older than me, he was funny, appreciated Seinfeld’s wit and I decided that humor was a definite plus. I said yes to his date proposal.
He asked me to choose the restaurant (good), which I did: MK, a mid-range establishment that has great décor and good food. I spotted him quickly thanks to the online pictures and my being late… and he was the only single sat. He stood appropriately (nice), but didn’t fight the hostess to pull my chair (not so nice). While he’d had ample time to review the menu, he did it again perhaps for my benefit…so that I’d know. He made several “tsking” sounds when his eye traveled right of the menu and then he finally ordered a hamburger (!). I knew that I’d be paying for my dinner that night…in more ways than one: half the check as well as suffering through Charlie’s idiosyncrasies.
WHAT I wore: blue kimono inspired wrap dress, plunging backline. WHERE I wore it: MK, WHO I saw: Cheap Charlie, HOW late I arrived: 15 minutes (I’m getting better), WHY I would or wouldn’t go back: to Charlie…obviously not, to MK, of course! And then there’s the internet.
Bottom line, while the internet offers the convenience of pre-dating from home, it lacks the ability to provide that “first meeting spark” that comes with catching someone’s eye and just feeling “it”. With the internet, you don’t feel anything via the email or telephone, yet you still give the date a try and even then you may not feel anything but it’s too late. You’re already knee deep in the middle of a date that you can’t get out of. The internet can’t tell you that a person is cheap and thus rule him out pre-date (something you can usually observe at a bar/club setting based on their insistence on tap or the house vodka (!)). The first meeting will tell you all you need to know, and that’s going to happen whether or not the internet has matched you. I’d put money on my intuition over a computer-generated match any day.
Regards,
Andrea
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Impress with your Dress!
Winters in Chicago are cold. There's no surprise there, but what does raise my eyebrow is how little some people wear during the bitter months. This was my dilemma a few short months ago when I had my first date (!) in over a decade: What to wear?
I answered this question as I thought my best friend, Laure might: "Impress with your dress!" Is this an out dated concept, impressing with your dress? If not, what does it really mean? To me it sounds less like wearing my Sunday best and more like wearing next to nothing in frigid temps based on the scantily clad running around the city. Open to dating, but not frigid temps, I modified it in my mind to mean wearing something flattering to my figure while highlighting my best assets. But I'm getting ahead of myself…so I had my first date.
How, you might ask, did I secure said date so quickly after deciding that I would date again? Two words: Internet dating, which I will savor during a later column when I have more time to discuss it with you at length. Anyhow, I met with Alec Brownless*, a New Yorker and sometimes Ohio dweller. (If one dwells in Ohio…) Alec flew in to Chicago from Cincinnati to meet me (plus). He booked a hotel room near the airport (plus) and allowed me to make the dinner reservations (and another plus! So far so good, right?) He held all doors for me (nice) and didn't backseat drive (perfect!) The conversation flowed without awkward pauses.
I was dressed from head to toe, covering just about every inch of me…even the good parts! But I had my eyes, hair, and wrists (oddly, a turn-on for some) to work with. WHAT I wore: Long black coatdress, sleeves rolled up (and hence the wrists), long black leather boots, black tights. I will say that I stayed warm, and I was impressed with that. WHERE I wore it: Dave's Café, WHO I saw: Alec Brownless, HOW late I arrived: twenty minutes, BUT his plane was late so technically I was on time. WHY I'd go back: the food was well prepared and felt homemade especially for me. Will I see Alec again? I'm not sure. There were a few minuses that you may be able to help me with. He spoke of his ex-wife—a lot and not in a negative way. He appeared very "I'm man…you're woman and you have your place several steps behind me…" an exaggeration, but a feeling I got about him nonetheless. While we didn't argue, all the signs were there that we were on our best behavior, but could easily fall prey to the petty argument (I booked the reservations under my name and his eyebrow went up at this), he challenged me about my knowledge of one of my favorite movies, 'The Usual Suspects' to which my eyebrow raised, and he didn't go in for a goodnight kiss (?) So there were a few warning signs. I want to know your thoughts: Should Mr. Brownless be granted another shot at greatness or was his behavior unseasonably cold?
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Fashionably Late!
Fashionably Late, An Introduction
Late has always been a word associated with me, or at least it accurately describes my arrival time. My most infamous tardy came with my projected birth date: July 22nd. I was delivered two days later, arriving fashionably late to the family and squarely in Leo instead of Cancer. I’ve put all those lovely Leo characteristics to good use as I thoroughly enjoy fashion, warm temperatures and the finer things in life, however, with all good things come a challenge or three, namely: my inability to be on time, a tad bit of arrogance and my desire to keep all nonsense and drama to a minimum.
In my opinion, most things are best kept cut short: nail, skirt and dress lengths, hair appointments, awkward conversations, sloppy kisses, American Idol winners careers (Fantasia, the exception,) but especially bad relationships. In fact, I’ve recently ended one—late of course—divorcing well after the marriage went out of style. Simply put, he is an opposite, and if you know anything about us Leos, you know that we need be complimented, not challenged.
I want to be honest with readers, so I admit that I’ve not always made the best choices especially as it pertains to my love life, but fashion-wise, I always know what looks best. In fashion I follow my instincts and it always works in my favor.
Perhaps we have an opportunity here— I will incorporate my fashion sense into my love life and make better mate decisions, following my intuition and feeling my way to the best match as easily as I can locate the perfect pair of shoes—with your help, of course! Join me, be my sounding board won’t you, as I make my way around the dating scene after a decade long hiatus, where I will arrive fashionably late to the parties, events and dates in and around Chicago. I’ll highlight WHAT I wore, WHERE I wore it, WHO I saw, HOW late I arrived and WHY I would (or wouldn’t) go back. But in the end, my decisions are mine and you don’t have to agree with them, but you must respect the fashion!
Regards,
Andrea
Late has always been a word associated with me, or at least it accurately describes my arrival time. My most infamous tardy came with my projected birth date: July 22nd. I was delivered two days later, arriving fashionably late to the family and squarely in Leo instead of Cancer. I’ve put all those lovely Leo characteristics to good use as I thoroughly enjoy fashion, warm temperatures and the finer things in life, however, with all good things come a challenge or three, namely: my inability to be on time, a tad bit of arrogance and my desire to keep all nonsense and drama to a minimum.
In my opinion, most things are best kept cut short: nail, skirt and dress lengths, hair appointments, awkward conversations, sloppy kisses, American Idol winners careers (Fantasia, the exception,) but especially bad relationships. In fact, I’ve recently ended one—late of course—divorcing well after the marriage went out of style. Simply put, he is an opposite, and if you know anything about us Leos, you know that we need be complimented, not challenged.
I want to be honest with readers, so I admit that I’ve not always made the best choices especially as it pertains to my love life, but fashion-wise, I always know what looks best. In fashion I follow my instincts and it always works in my favor.
Perhaps we have an opportunity here— I will incorporate my fashion sense into my love life and make better mate decisions, following my intuition and feeling my way to the best match as easily as I can locate the perfect pair of shoes—with your help, of course! Join me, be my sounding board won’t you, as I make my way around the dating scene after a decade long hiatus, where I will arrive fashionably late to the parties, events and dates in and around Chicago. I’ll highlight WHAT I wore, WHERE I wore it, WHO I saw, HOW late I arrived and WHY I would (or wouldn’t) go back. But in the end, my decisions are mine and you don’t have to agree with them, but you must respect the fashion!
Regards,
Andrea
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I'm Back!
The bug is going around—it’s that time of year! I’m putting pen to paper and then fingers to keys with this blog. I always return to the pen—I can’t help it, it’s in my blood. It’s the one thing I do and enjoy it every time and miss it when it’s gone (kind of like making love in that it’s a passion and it fuels my soul…you get the picture) I’m back.
I decided not to create a new blog. I like this concept, “Regarding Andrea” for a number of reasons. It’s truly reflective of my life the past few years. I’ve put myself in regard and studied the woman inside and out…and I know her better now than anyone else, so who better to Regard Andrea? Besides, I didn’t really give it a proper chance, did I with, what, 10 posts if that.
I’m going to start with a column I wrote awhile back that was published (I own the rights) that I really enjoyed. It was called, Fashionably Late, and it focused on my post-divorce life in Chicago. Of course, I still lived north, but most of my escapades took place in the city. These days, wonderful, exciting things happen in my backyard, so the commute is moot!
This should give you a little taste of my mindset, what it was, and what it is now. Let’s see what has changed—especially since I’ve raised my vibration (something I’ll post about later…promise!)
So sit back, relax, read—and definitely share your thoughts!
Regards,
Andrea
I decided not to create a new blog. I like this concept, “Regarding Andrea” for a number of reasons. It’s truly reflective of my life the past few years. I’ve put myself in regard and studied the woman inside and out…and I know her better now than anyone else, so who better to Regard Andrea? Besides, I didn’t really give it a proper chance, did I with, what, 10 posts if that.
I’m going to start with a column I wrote awhile back that was published (I own the rights) that I really enjoyed. It was called, Fashionably Late, and it focused on my post-divorce life in Chicago. Of course, I still lived north, but most of my escapades took place in the city. These days, wonderful, exciting things happen in my backyard, so the commute is moot!
This should give you a little taste of my mindset, what it was, and what it is now. Let’s see what has changed—especially since I’ve raised my vibration (something I’ll post about later…promise!)
So sit back, relax, read—and definitely share your thoughts!
Regards,
Andrea
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